Review

The book «Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus» written by couple therapist Dr. John Gray is a relationship textbook.

The author’s decoded language helps both sexes understand the dialogue the two can use to communicate.

Although women and men speak the same language, the meaning of the words is perceived differently.

Being two diametrically opposed sexes they think, feel, perceive, react, respond and love differently.

The two individuals, forgetting that they come from different planets, do not know how to give each other what they need for a dream relationship.

Regarding the male-female relationship, the author presents the logical information that can underlie the couple’s relationship.

Martians, that is, men are more reserved in expressing their feelings, but that does not mean that they love less. They believe that what they do for women is enough, but they do not know that women need their care and attention every second.

Venusians, that is, women, cannot explain why, when they ask for a favor from their husbands, they do not react. They consider that when they ask a question they are quite convincing and the question is understood by men.

«Can you please help me with my shopping for dinner?» Of course he can! This wording of the question is an insult to him, thinking to himself that you do not trust him. And she asked him if he could, not if he wanted to. The correct question would be, «Would you please help me with my shopping for dinner?» At which he will be receptive to the request for help, thinking that you trust him and now will be the right time to show his love as he says.

Martians often upset Venusians because they always tell them they don’t love them, but they don’t know that they need to repeat these magic words over and over again: «I love you!»

Let them also be upset that their loved ones are always complaining about something and then they feel guilty. They do not know that women do not accuse them and do not reject their solutions. They do not need solutions but only their attention and their arms. They just want to be listened to and hugged.

«You do not love me anymore!» means in women translation: «Today I feel like you don’t love me anymore. I’m afraid I’ve pushed you away. I know you really love me, you do so much for me, but today I feel a little insecure. You want to make sure of your love and to tell me the two magic words «I love you»? I feel so good when you do it».

Without translation, the man can understand from the woman’s quote a reproach: «I gave you my best years and you gave me nothing. You used me. You are selfish and cold. You do what you want, only and 0nly for you. You don’t care about anyone. I was a fool to love you. Now I have nothing.»

Women treat men the way they want to be treated, and men treat women the way they want to be treated.

If in the world of men receiving advice or help without being asked is a real offense, women tend to offer unconditional advice because they are happy to accept it. For this reason, the man comes to believe that his wife does not think he is good for anything since she gives him advice and his wife thinks he is the best woman because she is so worried about her boyfriend.

The book also places great emphasis on our ability to get what we want from our partner by motivating him, not by forcing him to do certain things. Showing that we appreciate him and that we are aware that we can always count on his help, asking for what we want in a specific way. This way he will start doing the things we want on his own, being really proud that he can help us and make us happy.

Unfortunately, men give women confidence, admiration and encouragement, leaving them to fend for themselves. And women give protection to men, and they control everything to make sure they are well and have nothing on their minds.

Because of this, problems arise, because women end up feeling unloved and alone and men end up feeling suffocated and controlled, although both partners love each other.

The book offers solutions, being a complete guide for both partners helping them, to understand each other and to overcome this impasse.

 

 

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