When we are in love, we are sure that we have found the secret of a balanced and beautiful relationship. We have more confidence in ourselves and optimism makes us dream of many moments full of happiness and freedom. We have a dose of madness, euphoria, peace and joy. We quickly forget all previous experiences and start with a blank page in which we invest everything… all emotions, all feelings. We only think about how to prolong the moment of happiness and we don’t take into account that somewhere and sometime we may need to start it all over again.
When we offer the deepest emotions and feelings, when all the premises seem to predict the winning lot of a story relationship: with understanding, encouragement, passion, laughter, evolution, common passions, attention, safety, peace and joy….It is very hard, to give up, to forget, to start over.
But all things are constantly changing, everything is so unpredictable that no story can have the same pattern, or the same rules. Feelings seem to change, roles seem to reverse, people begin to turn into exactly what we are trying to avoid. Priorities change, tolerance and patience seem to run out and feelings of passion turn into feelings of friendship.
There is no rule which of them takes the first step towards the end. Sometimes she loves more and makes so many efforts to keep everything, other times he is the one who from so much understanding does not see that there is nothing between them. Although I think that most of the time the man loves more intensely at the beginning so that later he opens many doors with his interest, devotion and attention. But the woman is the one who seems to love more deeply, who accepts an ending more difficult and looks for reasons to maintain the long-term relationship.
There are no precise rules about how a relationship should be. Probably, each of us feels when we meet a healthy relationship. A relationship that does not confine you and that helps you evolve. It is probably that relationship in which both look in the same direction and have the necessary experience and maturity, in which they know what they want to build. A relationship in which compromises are made and in which balance is present. That relationship in which we no longer play with feelings but are very attentive to the one next to us.
…..The real challenge is to write about relationships when you have a lifetime of experience.
Relationships are complicated, dreams are scattered and we are still running after experiences and moments to turn into memories. We kind of lost the illusion and the momentum to invest and build relationships, because nobody wants them anymore. We are quite selfish and we don’t want to leave our comfort zone.